   
Three Lessons to Teach Your Teen About Sex
by Ugo Uche MS., LPC
In a sad way, I find it somewhat amusing when mass media and
some parents routinely propose or actually go ahead in giving their teens leniency in regards to breaking universal rules
and values around dating and sex. I find this amusing because I routinely have young girls come in to see me or request advice
via my website, about their realization that they have become pregnant, and lost as to what course of action to take. Recently
I saw a fifteen year old, who was contemplating giving her year old son for adoption, because she had reached her wits end
with him. The child, like any one year old, fast approaching his second birthday, has become more active and demanding for
attention. These examples are just dealing with teen pregnancy and teen parent hood, I have not begun to go into the adolescent
clients diagnosed with herpes, and yes HIV, I have seen in the past.
So yes, I find the glorification of sex with adolescents
in today's culture somewhat amusing because, no one ever brags about staying up all night with a crying baby, or being infected
with HIV. If you are a parent, there are three lessons you need to teach your teen about sex.
Lesson One
Just as
you sat with your toddler (or maybe not), and watched Elmo and friends shamelessly talk about the basics of potty training,
you should sit with your teen and shamelessly talk about the basics of sex. From sexual attraction, to arousal, to fore play
and intercourse. This difficult and needful conversation has to cover not just sex, but the science behind it. From the differences
between the male and female genitalia, to what changes to expect during puberty, pregnancy and sexual transmitted infections.
Lesson
Two
So you have gone over the bells and whistles of sex and it's consequences with your teen, now what? Protection. That's
right, go ahead; talk about the use of a condom and it's researched statistic, as well as the use of birth control. Condoms
if used correctly, will work a hundred percent of the time, ninety-eight percent to account for human error. Then there is
the science and timing of birth control pills, explain to your son or daughter what happens if one pill is missed, and the
success rate even if the pills are taken on a consistent basis.
Lesson Three
This is the most important lesson of
all, as it has to do with the “what if” scenarios. What if your daughter gets pregnant? What if your son gets
a sexual transmitted infection, or becomes a father? The focus of this lesson is to teach your teen, that nothing is guaranteed
or set in stone, and that their daily choices could trigger a number of infinite possibilities. As a responsible parent, your
“what if” response should be tailored towards supporting your teen, but not enabling or bailing them out of trouble.
Teaching
these three lessons will not eliminate the possibilities of your teen contracting a sexual transmitted infection or becoming
a teen parent, but it will go a long ways towards decreasing the likelihood.
Author's Bio
Ugo Uche is a Licensed Professional Counselor and ADD Life Coach
For
more information about the topic of this article please visit road2resolutions.com
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Oral Sex Common, Less Risky, Teens Say
Teens believe oral sex is less risky to their health and emotions
than regular sex, and they think it is more acceptable among their peers.
Not surprisingly, they also are more likely to try oral sex.
This view comes from a new survey of 580 ethnically diverse
Northern California ninth-graders reported in the April issue of the journal Pediatrics.
The students in general thought oral sex was less likely to
have negative social and emotional consequences, such as creating bad reputation or feelings of guilt. Oral sex is also seen
as less threatening to their values and beliefs.
Among the findings:
- 19.5 percent of the ninth-graders
surveyed said they had tried oral sex
- 13.5 percent have had vaginal
sex
- 31.5 percent intend to have oral
sex within the next six months
- 26.2 percent intend to have vaginal
sex in the next six months
"These findings suggest that adults should discuss more than
one type of sexual practice when they counsel teens," said Bonnie Halpern-Felsher, associate professor of adolescent medicine
at the University of California, San Francisco. "When we counsel adolescents about the risks and benefits associated with
sex, we need to understand how they perceive it among themselves."
Most of the participants recognized that there is some risk
of infection with sexually transmitted diseases such as chlamydia and HIV, and accurately ranked this risk less than with
vaginal sex.
Yet one in seven incorrectly thought that the risk of STDs from
oral sex would be zero.
"There is not much data about the chances of sexually transmitted
infections due to oral sex, but there is a real risk," Halpern-Felsher said. "When teens are engaging in or considering oral
sex, they need to know about methods to keep themselves safe from physical as well as emotional risks."
source site: click here
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