   Teen Health Issues
- Tattoos
- Body Piercing
- Female General Health Topics
- Male General Health Topics
- Birth Control
- Nutrition
- Fitness
- Sleep
- Relaxation
- Counseling
- Medications
- Skin Care & Grooming
What parents need to know is EVERYTHING possible concerning the above topics.
It's your job as a parent to know everything concerning these topics as well as practicing what you preach. Being the best
role model for your child is of the utmost importance in practicing good parenting skills.
Communication Skills
Not only
do you need to know everything and model what you're teaching; you need to learn how to communicate with your partner first
using healthy, positive communication skills and then learn enough about how teenagers think to be able to communicate with
your teens in a healthy manner. Having all the information in the world will do you no good if you don't know how to get that
information into your teenager's brain!
Some important information to read - this ties in with communicating with your teens about some
of the other important issues on this page!
Learn to Communicate Effectively with Your Teen in 5 Days
Parenting Poll about Communication
Personal Responsibility
At-Risk Behaviors
The Internet
Here are some valuable resources discussing some issues you might be facing with your teens.
Parenting a Teenager - What a Teen Wishes You Knew
by
Colleen Langenfeld
Are you parenting a teenager? Would it help to know what he
(or she) is thinking?
Recently I sat down with a 17 year old young woman, Amy (not her real name), and asked her this
question.
(Colleen) "Amy, what frustrations do teenagers have with their parents? What do teenagers wish they could
tell their parents, but often don't?"
(Amy) "Well, let me think a minute. Okay, here's a thought. Parents are all the
time complaining we (teenagers) don't do as we're told. I'm talking about things like chores and such. But parents need to
remember that most teenagers have really full schedules.
"Honestly, we often just forget to do what we're asked and
then we get in trouble and the whole situation escalates.
"What I have found works for me is for my mom to give me
a list of what she wants done and also when she wants it done. Then I'm able to fit the jobs into all my other activities
and if I forget, it really is my fault. I keep up much better with my chores this way, plus I like managing my own schedule."
(Colleen)
"That's good information, Amy. Any other thoughts?"
(Amy) "Yes. Another thing parents might consider is if they have
a particular rule and they say there's an exception to that rule, define the exception up front. Don't make us figure it out
by trial and error and then getting in trouble. We can't read your mind."
(Colleen) "Parents get frustrated by that
one, too. Anything else?"
(Amy) "I also think that pushing all the time about joining family activities just makes
teenagers tune out. For me, I enjoy spending time with my family, but not every minute of every day. I want to spend time
with my friends, too.
"If I know when it's important to be at family stuff, then I make sure I'm there and I can plan
with my friends, too. More of a balanced plan."
(Colleen) "Thank you, Amy, for sharing with us. Your comments are very
insightful." (End of interview.)
Good food for thought, isn't it? (If you would enjoy more tips on parenting teens,
please see the author's resource box below.) Do Amy's frustrations sound familiar? You might want to sit down with your own
teen and ask these same questions of them. But be prepared to listen and not lecture, if you want the real answers!
Parenting
a teenager can be hard work. Good parenting means listening and guiding. Giving a measure of freedom within clear boundaries
and often walking a fine line of balance.
And lots of hugs are a good idea, too!
How to Deal With a Teens Feelings of Abandonment
By Charlie Rainer Gaston
Every parent of a teenager understands the delicate and ever
receeding line in the sand that seperates being overly cautious and concerned about a child potentially feeling ignored or
disconnected. Divorce, change in family structure or even an increase in time spent away from the home unit can all contribute
to a teenager feeling a sense of abandonment.
Affirm and validate the child's feelings, frustrations and observations.
Do not shame or blame the child for his criticism of the family dynamic. Explain that you believe every child has the right
to a consistent, balanced, nurturing and loving relationship with a parent. Validate his sense of loss and express regret
that he feels "cheated" or "ignored".
Empathize with the child's sense of loss. To show empathy and
remorse for the child's sense of loss and abandonment, listen as she confronts the obstacles she believes have created distance
and disconnect within the family (parent's long hours spent at the office, competition with other siblings for attention,
parental separation from divorce). Demonstrate the gravity of her loss. Show the impact of her pain on your heart. Mirror
her feelings with compassion.
Try a role reversal activity. Explain to the
child that you can understand how he would feel abandoned. Speak from the narrative the child has given. Explain how you would
feel if the roles were reversed.
Schedule individualized time with the child.
Set a weekly time to meet with the child one-on-one. Explain that during this "sacred time" you will be emotionally, physically
and cognitively present. Explain that you will not allow anyone to interupt, disrespect, or disregard this "sacred time".
Schedule an appointment with a professional
counselor. Allow the child to work with a counselor to resolve larger issues that may grow from his sense of abandonment.
Encourage your child to express and deal with any rage, resentment or dispondency that he may feel. Explain that the counselor
is simply a sounding board for any larger issues and should be regarded as a part of the healing process.
source site: click here
Teenage Mood Swings .....are they normal?
by Sue Atkins
Perhaps you’ve heard from 'You don't understand me?'
to 'Why can't you just stop going on at me and leave me alone!' all before and are wondering if it’s normal. Well, to
reassure you …. it is but your teenager's mood swings can affect the whole family and they can be a source of huge distress,
anger and frustration for everyone.
Adolescence is a complex period of transition and change and mood swings are all
part of the process of growing up. Your teenager suddenly becomes concerned about their identity, and begins to feel the pressures
of school, exams and fitting in with their peers. They begin to worry about their appearance far more, their friendships and
how people outside the family perceive them and these are just some of the things that preoccupy your teenager.
Add to
this, the ebb and flow of their changing and spinning hormones and you get a very volatile mixture of happy, personable and
outgoing one day, morose, depressed and sullen the next but the key thing is for you to stay grounded, centred and calm regardless
of your teenagers mood.
Easier said than done some days but essential in the long run!
Remember to not take it
personally !
If your teen is having a bad day, you and the rest of your family are the safest and the most available
target for their frustration and anger.
Try not to take it to heart. Blaming you can be an easy way out for your teen
who may be having a tough time. But by showing empathy and tolerance and by being available to just listen to some of their
feelings often helps your teenager feel understood.
Be sensitive to when they want to chat things through and be flexible
in sitting down and listening even when you’re tired or busy as it will build many wonderful bridges between you.
Always
remember to press an imaginary pause button (like on your DVD) and to take a literal step back as this distances you from
the heated moment and try not to overreact. Arguing back, shouting or criticising only makes things worse.
You may
feel incredibly angry or frustrated but avoid rising to the bait. Imagine yourself as an anchor on the bottom of a deep ocean.
Deeply grounded and firm in the sand as your teenager is bobbing about out of emotional control at the top of the water –
flaying about.
Take some deep slow breaths and imagine a cool breeze blowing over your face calming you down and let
the situation blow over the top of your head.
When you feel calm and when your teen has calmed down discuss what happened
and how you felt later. Strike while the iron is cold!
A useful strategy to use is:
• When you …..
•
I feel
• Because……
• I would like …….
Is there something bothering your teen?
Sometimes
there really is more to it than the just the “moody” moment. So find out whether there is possibly something more
behind your teen’s snappiness and short fuse? Could they be worried or pressured about something? Ask if there is something
troubling them gently and chose your moment carefully. If they want to talk to you about it, make it clear that you are always
willing to listen without judgement, nagging or heavy handed advice.
Remember that teenagers can be very secretive
and withdrawn, so don't feel rejected if they don’t want to open up to you. Take time out naturally together to chat,
go shopping or take the dog out for a walk and let the conversation flow naturally and easily without pressure.
The
family is a natural, safe and easy target for letting off steam, as your teenager knows you will still love and accept them
even if they lose their temper with you. And it's very likely that outside of the family, your teenager controls their temper
and moods and is far more easy-going and pleasant.
But be clear on your own boundaries of what is and isn’t
acceptable to you at home, as children of all ages need to know their boundaries. It’s not unreasonable to expect them
to exert some control over their moods and temper at home and don’t fall into the trap of excusing and accepting everything
because you’ve got a hormonal teenager in your house.
Explain the effect that their moods are having on the rest
of the family as your maturing teenager may not be fully aware of the impact they are having on everyone. Explain and be clear,
that although you understand their situation, they are still part of the family and if they shout, snap or swear, it makes
the atmosphere unpleasant for everyone. State what you find acceptable and be unwavering on those values and be clear on your
expectations. Say that you expect them to show more control over their emotions now they are maturing and to not lose their
temper so easily.
As kids become more assertive, confident and confrontational it’s a natural reaction to match
the behaviour and to become more assertive, more confrontational and more controlling but that is where, in my opinion things
can go wrong.
It’s about NOT matching that behaviour, it’s about recognising what’s happening and
trying the new strategies and techniques of negotiating, discussing, and talking – the time for telling is over.
Ask
yourself:
• What changes can I make this week to stay grounded, centred and in control of myself?
•
What will be the benefits to myself, my relationship with my teenager and the rest of the family if I remember to make these
small changes?
• What small steps can I take this week to build bridges between myself and my teen?
• What
one new strategy could I try this week?
• What can I remember to do if it all goes pear shaped to keep the bigger
long term view of our relationship?
• How can we all relax a little more this week – what can we do together
to make us all laugh?
Author's Bio
Sue Atkins is a Parent Coach and Author of "Raising Happy Children for Dummies"
one in the famous black and yellow series. She has written many books on self esteem, toddlers and teenagers and has a collection
of Parenting Made Easy Toolkits available from her website. To find out more about her work and to receive her free monthly
newsletter packed full of practical tips and helpful advice for bringing up happy, confident, well-balanced children go to
=> http:/www.positive-parents.com
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Relationships! You've gotta
teach them how to deal with people within a relationship! They can't learn it by trial and error! That's way too dangerous
- after all - isn't that how we learned about relationships?
Character, Values & Personality Traits
How to be Emo
By spacegirl2008
Are you depressed?
Alone? Friendless? Unloved? Abandoned by your family? Misunderstood by the whole world? Do you, like, express your feelings
and emotions through poetry? Music? You may be Emo. Or just seven steps away:
Understand Emo. Emo has many meanings. It’s
a musical genre combining hardcore music with sad, emotional lyrics. It’s an abbreviated way to label someone emotional.
It’s a life style. It’s a combination of some or all of these elements of style, fashion, culture. It’s
open for debate and often depends on someone’s personal expression. The term “Emo” loosely describes emotional
rock, and most Emo’s like Indie music.
Appreciate Emo music. Emo song lyrics are usually emotional and are sometimes described as whiny and sensitive.
Underground until recently, Emo music’s popularity continues to grow. Listen to a lot of Emo bands. You may soon find
yourself beginning to sound whiny and sensitive. Pick up an instrument, try to play the violin, an incredibly whiny sounding
instrument. Take a shot at writing your own songs by letting them evolve from original sensitive poetry.
Test yourself. If you begin liking Emo music, and then find yourself downloading the
songs, you’re probably Emo. Getting inner Emo is all in finding out whether or not you have it.
Dress Emo. Once you discover your inner Emo, you need to get dressed. Wear tight jeans,
tight shirts with Emo band logos on them, studded belts (two), and a well worn pair of Converse (black’s a good start)
sneakers. Girls: black skirts with striped socks or leggings. Leg warmers are OK. Accessorize with rubber bracelets and Emo-looking
necklaces. Thick, black-rimmed glasses are OK for Emo guys. Stripes and checks are big. Take inspiration from other Emos and
make it your own. Don’t copy. Vintage clothing and thrift shops can be good sources.
Get Emo hair. Dye it black
or brown with optional blond, blue, crimson streaks, especially in the bangs. For girls, cut your hair very short, but keep
your bangs long, swept drastically to one side and covering one eye. Or, leave it long with many choppy layers and highlights.
For guys, spike up the back, and wipe down the front with a Bounce sheet. And dye your bangs a lighter color than the rest
of your hair.
Get the attitude. Emo
is often associated with bitterness, depression, insecurity and resent. But you can be Emo because you’re sensitive,
introspective, thoughtful, and quiet. Never be loud or in anyone’s face; focus on your own emotional life.
Remember Emos are people! People may make fun of you, but don’t let them grind you down! Remember
that, no matter what, you’re still a person.
source site: click here
Social Responsibility includes
learning healthy social skills! How we control ourselves while we are with others is very important. Using good manners, showing
respect towards ourself first and then towards others is crucial in learning how to live a happy and healthy adult life.
Education & Study Skills
Helping Parents Understand Video Games
by Paula Moore Hurtt and Ryan McCollum Hurtt with Thomas E. (Jene) Hedden, M.S.W.
Video
games have evolved exponentially since the advent of the first interactive games in 1947 with the development of the Cathode
Ray Tube Amusement Device (CRTAD).
Baby boomers may remember playing “Tank”, “Pong” and “Space
Invaders” in the seventies at arcades where the pin-ball machine was still king. Those simple games are baby steps compared
to today’s interactive and role-playing games played by all ages.
The video game allows the player to experience
interactive entertainment, set and achieve goals, compete, and challenge himself and others from the comfort of his/her own
home. Video games are a reliable form of entertainment, not subject to the whims of weather, traffic or crowds.
But,
in some cases, individuals can become emotionally and some say even physically addicted to the games. Although this is still
being debated among mental health care professionals, more and more parents are concerned by their kids’ apparent need
for the games. Gaming addiction can be difficult to diagnose and treat. But like any mental health issue, a good understanding
of cause and effect will help the parent and mental health care provider help the addicted player.
The Recipe
Developers
of video games gear their products to the whims and wishes of the gamers. In the same way that a fast-food restaurant chain
might change a recipe for their flagship food product to appeal to its customers, video game developers change the “recipe”
of their products to meet the demand of the consumer.
Early video games were programmed so that the gamer could “drop
in” or “drop out” of the game at any time. Gamers could load the game, save the princess and then move on
to other things.
But, customers began demanding more immersive games which involved skill trees where players could
obtain achievements and new skills through accomplishing certain objectives. These achievements then rewarded the gamer with
even more opportunities to achieve.
Another video game “recipe” is the role playing game, possibly an off-shoot
of popular role-playing table games of the seventies and eighties such as Dungeons and Dragons. Role playing games allow the
player to take on the role of a character in the game – often with a very detailed back-story – and as that character
improves his skill-set, to gain points and “graduate” his character to a new numbered level.
Multi-Player
and Internet Gaming
A third and more powerful “recipe” is on-line or internet multi-player gaming. These
games can involve joining a team or guild and competing with other teams. In the mid to late 80’s, LAN (Local Access
Network) parties were held all over the country, sometimes involving thousands of gamers playing other gamers in convention
halls all over the country. In just the last few years, LAN parties have begun to phase out and players are engaging in game
playing over the internet with limitless access to other teams and guilds from all over the world. In fact, the average 11
year old gamer may be on a team with individuals of all ages from Japan, Korea, India, Great Britain and Australia. Language
barriers are rendered meaningless because they all speak the language of the game. In addition, belonging to a team or guild
often involves electing officers, holding meetings, having strategy sessions and practicing on-line with people the gamer
has never met in person.
On-line gaming has become so big, gamers can join organizations such as the Cyberathelete
Professional League and Quakecon where they can vie for cash prizes of $10,000 or more as well as recognition in the gaming
community. What has become known as Electronic Sports even garners lucrative corporate sponsorships.
Not Their Parents’
Video Games
So, it becomes clear that kids are not playing at the simple games their parents remember. The games are
now much more immersive and involve skill sets and strategy as well as on-line cooperation with team members and competition
with people all over the world. To the young teen, these games may be a very big deal. To the parent who is thinking of video
games in terms of his or her own experiences, the knowledge gap may be wide.
First Steps for the Concerned Parent
If
you are a parent who is concerned that your child is addicted to video games, your first steps should be to talk to your child
and learn about the game.
Find out what game the child is focused on and learn about the game. You can go on-line to
learn the basics. You’ll want to know if the game has scenarios, i.e. violence, sexual content or racism, that go against
your principles and those you wish to teach your child. Games are “rated”, but for many parents, the rating system
does not meet their expectations. In addition, try to learn how the game works, whether it involves teams, guilds, tribes
and so forth. Are there corporate sponsorships? Are there prizes…cash or otherwise?
The second step is to sit
down with your child and talk to him. You will have already researched the game, so will know a little of the lingo.
Ask
the child if he belongs to a team, guild or tribe. Does he have certain appointed times when he is expected to be on-line
with the team? How much time does his team or guild expect him to play each day or week? Is he an officer on the team? Does
he have responsibilities to his teammates? What are those responsibilities? Is he expected to “check in” every
day with his team or tribe? If he can’t meet his team responsibilities, does he feel disappointed, ashamed or like he
has failed? Do his teammates chastise him? What does he know about his teammates?
Questions like this will, hopefully,
open a dialogue about your child’s gaming habits. It may give your child the opportunity to communicate stress he’s
been feeling about his responsibilities to his team and thus give you the opportunity to give him good reasons for spending
less time gaming (like spending more time outside and with family.)
Talking about his gaming may also help bring up
issues such as shyness, lack of self-esteem or social awkwardness which may have brought him to gaming in
the first place.
Watch and Learn
Sit with your child and watch him play the game for awhile. The child may
balk at this, but don’t forget you’re the parent. You’d want to know what he was doing if he went out with
friends on Saturday night. This is no different.
Ask about the game as he plays. Watch to see how the game makes him
feel…if he exhibits a sense of accomplishment or frustration. Notice how he interacts with the other gamers on his team.
Learning about the game, talking with him about it and watching him play will forestall the “You just don’t
understand” most parents of gamers hear. You may not understand all the nuances, but at least you will understand enough
to begin opening a dialogue with your child regarding his gaming habits.
Author's Bio
Thomas E. (Jene) Hedden is a licensed clinical social worker and president of Shelby
Counseling Associates. Paula Moore Hurtt is a free lance writer and web designer.
Ryan McCollum Hurtt is an assets protection
agent and video gamer.
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